1. No one should give themselves more time and increase their energy by rising earlier, learning new exercises, trading coffee for juice, and journaling 300 or so words a day.
2. No one should be kind to animals. No one should wait for the fox den to leave their yard on its own. No one should brake for geese, deer, and gophers.
3. No one should take respect for others more seriously. No one should work to be more present in no one else’s lives while, at the same time, being mindful of when that presence crosses no one else’s boundaries.
4. No one should have a clear conception of what a boundary actually is, for general reference.
5. No one should be more spontaneous and flexible. No one should know and be more grateful when they can’t control every variable of a situation. But also, no one should be more reliable and consistent. No one contains multitudes.
6. No one should diffuse a tense situation between mutual friends by telling them that every party involved is equally right and wrong, from which they will surely find peace and move on.
7. If no one wants to dig a hole in the back yard, nothing should prevent no one from doing so and no one is obligated to explain what they do on/to their property. No one’s dreams are too important for the niceties of permission.
8. No one should cultivate their personal tastes as they see fit. No one should be bound by anything other than their own experiences, instincts, and limitations. No one should resist the unsolicited, arbitrary impositions of people who claim to know better. No one should resist doing the same for no on else.
9. No one should take the hint.
10. No one should speak more deliberately and with greater clarity. No one should mean what they say.
11. No one should reduce the frequency of adverbs in their daily speech.
12. No one’s truth bares notable distinction from no one else’s.
13. No one should know false hope when they see it.
14. No one should overcome their impostor syndrome and embrace their inherent merit.
15. No one should do better to stand up for what is right. No one should believe that justice is good and possible in this world.
16. No one should tell the assholes at the municipal zoning commission to go fuck themselves. No one will dig their hole as deep and as wide as they please.
17. No one should be forced into a position to have to pretend that this isn’t really happening.
18. Self-control should be no one’s guiding virtue.
19. No one should make time to help others and give their skills freely. No one should become a mentor.
20. No one’s spouse should ask too many questions about their shifting priorities at home; especially toward very costly lawn care projects. It would be wise for no one’s spouse to lay off and keep to their own affairs.
21. No one should say “yes” to zest, whether from lemons or for life.
22. No one should be as welcoming as circumstances allow. No one should be welcome anywhere.
23. No one should be confident in the knowledge that they will be on the right side of history.
24. No one is inherently unique. With patience, no one will be discovered by the right person at the right time.
25. No one should tip fairly and often, or vice versa.
26. No one should look at other people’s pet passions—baking sourdough, crocheting, owning a fancy grill—and think of them as being on the same level as their hole. No one should assume that their hole is coveted by others and that their efforts to escape their meaningless existences are comparably unworthy. No one should keep careful watch for these people trying to leap into the hole to poison it with their confirmed mediocrity; to make rancid and dubious what they can’t have.
27. No one should put what is possible before what is ideal. No one should replace what is desired with what is actionable, what is concrete with what is fantastical, etc.
28. No one should put “fun” in the appropriate enclosure.
29. No one should place exorbitant expectations upon the hole relative to the manifest failures of the non-holes in their life to meet theirs. No one should talk to the hole as if English was its first language or as if it can read their emotional cues. No one should pay tribute to the hole with their daughter’s gerbils or vestal maidens who work at Whataburger.
30. It is a sign of good moral health that no one has enemies. No one should be prudent in revenging against them. Those who antagonize no one will get what they deserve.
31. When no one falls, have faith that no one will be there to pick them up or pull them out.
32. No one should say something when they see something.
33. No one should try to unpack their recurring dream where they are being endlessly swallowed down a dark, moist tube.
34. No one is entitled to a peaceful end to life, with loved ones present and in the full knowledge that all of this basically meant something.
35. No one should hold off on signing any papers from no one’s spouse, especially after having discovered that the hole can sustain itself on their children’s tears alone.
36. No one should think themselves above the petty indignities of what ever “power dynamics” are.
37. No one is the last line of defense of civilization against chaos.
38. No one should lose sleep over whether or not they measure up to the standards imposed by the hole, or whether the hole, realizing their failure, will fill itself back up and appear in no one else’s yard. No one should worry if their emotional collateral falls short of the investment in the hole’s meaning in their life.
39. No one should observe appropriate conduct among subordinates out of respect for their own contributions or to set an example for them going forward.
40. ⚫️⚫️⚫️ No ⚫️⚫️⚫️⚫️⚫️⚫️ one ⚫️⚫️⚫️⚫️⚫️⚫️⚫️ should ⚫️⚫️⚫️⚫️⚫️⚫️⚫️⚫️⚫️⚫️⚫️⚫️⚫️⚫️⚫️.
41. No one should strive to be anyone to everyone in some way that is special to no one else.
42. No one should be the hole that no one wants to see in the world.
43. No one should look into the mirror every morning and think that they are an inspiration for no one else to strive to be their best selves.
44. No one should consider that the hole has disappointed them no differently than those that compelled them to dig the hole to begin with.
45. The earth revolves around no one. The moon and the stars are at no one’s behest for contemplative respite from no one else’s life-draining bullshit.
46. No one is the sum of all things. No one is the catalyst of perpetual upward velocity. No one is also the integral, irreplaceable piece in the grand cosmic design.
47. No one should be mindful in boring others.
48. No one has been unfair to the hole. The hole is a metaphor for no one else.
49. No one is on the cusp of their best, most fulfilling years any day now.
50. No one should eat lunch at 10:45.