The most recent and comprehensive scholarship has confirmed two clown prayers. One prayer is for the aggrieved appealing to the clown’s justice. The other is for the originator of the grievance appealing to the clown’s mercy, or at least to deflect the clown’s justice.
None of the world’s religions, even religions without any rules, make allowances or give assurances for saying clown prayers. Even as the prayers themselves are so abominable as to go beyond the range of simple clerical condemnation; just as those who so pray, whether for justice or for mercy, go beyond the range of pastoral assistance.
No authority so vested with the knowledge will impart the prayers on anyone who seeks them. It is not known with certainty from what source the knowledge of the prayers originates; only that it does not arrive before descending into an abject spiritual condition.
Neither prayer should be assumed to apply to any fixed clown. Prayers, being neither commands nor contracts, do not bind the clown(s) to any instructions or obligations if answered. The soundness of a clown’s judgment is out of tune with the basic comprehension of man. The dimensions of a clown’s authority are erratically measured within the contours of the universe.
Neither the clown’s justice nor the clown’s mercy are adequate substitutes for God’s grace. Any value relative to the Devil’s trickery is so uncertain as to not be worth comparing.
If a clown appears to you, do not accept solicitations or engage in harlequin experiments; remain fixed on your worldly priorities.